To Send For You Soon, Poem (99/365)

I promise I will send for you soon

I told them

As I kissed them on the cheek

I thought it would be fast

Just a couple weeks

but weeks have turned into months

And months have started stacking up

And I fear it will only be longer

And I miss them

And I feel guilt for not making it sooner

Anxiety that will forget me

and that they have found another

My words rattle in my psyche

I promise I will send for you soon

Soon a word without a deadline

When I said soon I meant tomorrow

I hoped that life here could be easy

But it’s anything but instant

I don’t mind

But I’m scared soon will turn into never

It shall not

I will not let it

I think of them often as reasons

Reasons why I can not be defeated

I would  send for them today

But I can’t  bring fragile people

into rough environments

It’s hard to leave you

But I have to prep

I have to make room

I have to make it safe for you

You will see what I have been building

What I have been building here  for you

And you see every  wall, door, floor, ceiling

they all been pining for you

And I have never forgotten

I just haven’t felt like speaking

I don’t want to utter anything

that fills you with false security,  dates, and  hesitation

I promise to send for you

Soon

 

 

 

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