Dating Tip from NSA, Poem (66/365)


I wonder if the NSA

ever goes on dating sites

and becomes the 3rd wheel

reads his emails

to SexyBobCat545

And sees all the girls

he winked at

and sent cute little emoticons

And if the NSA just sees

the writing on the walls

This girl is too clingy

That one is an emotional tornado

Jesus she is two stirs from scrambled

I wonder if they watch him

like a soap opera and look at the

other people he been connecting to

I wonder if they squirm

every time

he tells a bold face lie

like he’s 5 foot 5

Claiming to 6 foot 9



I wonder if after a while

they start compiling a list

of hypothetical dating tips

from the NSA


be yourself

Like in all those emails

to your grandma


please stop

posting these picks with you frowning

Your so beautiful when you smile

I say for your profile pic

You should use

That one of you on the bahamas


that you send your

ex last december before you broke up

Well I’m not sure you broke up

But all the data is inferred


in ALL CAPS!!!!


your bio

needs a major over haul

Your more sensitive then

you let on

I see how much time you spend

a day

watching those sappy

youtube videos

And I know your

screen savers is cute little kittens

I know your dream

is to never stop traveling

And from all the recipes you

get from your sister

I suspect you’re not as

bad a cook as you claim

to be

So please spice your bio


If she doesn’t seem that into you

Please stop texting her

Trust me I read some of her other

Texts to other boys

and if she  wanted you

She would let you know


Send more flowers



I wonder if the NSA

ever falls for someone

they are  listening to

because we

as humans

we barley listen to

each other

and  when we finally do

we discover humanity

And Humanity is Sexy

And I wonder

If she ever longs to see him

to hold him

to hug

to be the other person

on the line

instead of a passive observer

and If it crushes her

every date

he schedules in his iCal

and she thinks to herself

That girl is wrong for him

I – I – I could

well I might not be

But who ever is the one

I will be listening for her

with all my Love

the NSA








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