Manuals That don’t Exist, Poem (45/365)

There are no manuals for parenting

A saying said a lot

But the bigger problem is

there are no manuals for life

I have this body and

it doesn’t come with instructions

it comes with warnings

you’re hurting me

I’m hungry

I’m sleepy

I have to pee

we are happy

But there are no human manuals

and I can’t figure out why

some sober nights

I want to start a revolution

storm the bastille or hollywood

or target or the library

and I can’t figure out why some days

I just want to blend in

or sleep

or do a mixture

were I invent

a more complex snuggie

 that doubles

as a cloak of invisibility

I have tried to be mediocre sometime last week

but my parents were not having it

So I am trying to be awesome

Since getting glasses

I feel like my vision is getting worse

So I have been eating  a bunch of carrots

and starring at mirrors

to look in my eyes for clues

but every time I look

I just find new stuff that never saw before

and how is it

that I been in this body

22 years

and there is still stuff to discover

I am Marco Polo

And while I aways excepted india

I discover america

in the form of birthmark on my left foot

I discovered that my lips

disappear at both ends of my mouth

I sat in cold water for 15 minutes 

because my running book

said it rejuvenate muscles

But then after

I tried to figure out why I was so cold

hours later

but I figured out

it’s probably like cold water

you take out of the freezer

regardless of outside it will stay cold

for a little bit

Not sure if thats really the reason

but it’s what I am willing to go with

Manuals don’t exist

books do try to explain some of it

school also

but do I really have to go to doctor school

to figure out how my body works

do I really need to be psychologist to figure

out how my brain works

I don’t think so

I just think it helps you more

but all doctors call their business

a practice

because they’re constantly just discovering

I watched him today

and realized he doesn’t know after a fight

that we can work things out

you think he would have learned after 3 daughters

that girls we fight

and we mend

but he has not learned that

and I don’t know how to write

in somebody else’s life

do I leave journal entries

like breadcrumbs

I look at my TV

jealous

because if it breaks

I know how to fix it

they send me a manual

I know to check the plugs

I know how to rebuild it

I know why it makes the sound it makes

But When I break

I don’t know

I don’t know what to look for

I don’t know what pushes my buttons

I don’t know why I make the sounds I make

I don’t know why I feel the way I do

I don’t know how to get back

I just know that I do

I just know that one day

I am okay

miraculously

so cut me some slack

Because there was

never a Manual

Just a Man

who was trying

to  figure it all out

 

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