To My Second Grade Crush, A Character Poem (27/365)

Just thought I would do another character poem. 

To My Second Grade Crush

Thank you for crushing me

I definitely dodged something

possible a bullet, a divorce,

or the shame of saying that’s my ex

I’m sorta glad all those years ago

you ran off saying I have cooties

Because  quite frankly

I think you have cooties now

I believe your inside

finally matches your outside

and now you smell like dirty feet

and to tell you the truth

when I first saw you

I almost thought you were homeless

That’s why I raised up this dollar

it was not because

I thought you were stripper worthy

but thank you for lifting up your shirt

The amount of hair you have

is truly incredible

no we will not be going to dinner

and Thank you I know I look thinner

Oh and this right here is your lady

Wearing 80 shades of Cheetah

with her girls pushed way up

maybe a rosary wasn’t a good accessory 

I think she suffocating Jesus

because she burying him

oh so deep in her cleavage

I see now I have some steep competition

But darn just I don’t think I can take her

And no I would not like a threesome

Thanks for your hospitality

But you’re coming off creepy

While it’s good to share toys in 2nd Grade

I not down for sharing a whole lot

And definitely not with you

And you tired to remind me

of the good old days

and how you wished

you would have taken me up

on my offer

when I asked

you to be my valentine

but I remark

I’m glad you crushed me

And you say you wish you had

a time machine

and me I really hope not

Because if you did

I would go back and tell

My second grade self

this boy will

never turn into a man,

He will have cooties forever

and ever

and infinite

and infinite beyond

and infinite plus infinite

And one day you will know

when you see him on the corner

of street

that I was right

and if he ever hands you a note

please check no


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